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Thursday, October 14, 2004

Decision 2004: the mystic vs. the ape

Contrary to popular belief, last night's presidential debate made perfectly clear the nature of the choice Americans will have when they enter the voting booth on November 2nd.

President Bush flaunted the mentality of a Medieval mystic by announcing that his method of dealing with reality was to make ritualistic incantations to invisible spirits. When asked, "What part does your faith play on policy decisions," Bush proudly admitted: "First, my faith plays a lot -- a big part in my life... I pray a lot." He then proceeded to enumerate his wish list: "I pray for strength. I pray for wisdom. I pray for our troops in harm's way. I pray for my family. I pray for my little girls." And, sources say, he wants Santa to bring him a pony because he's been a really good boy this year.

Senator Kerry was even less civilized. Despite his comparative eloquence, Kerry mistakenly revealed a horrifyingly stunted, pre-conceptual mentality reminiscent of Cro-Magnon. While criticizing Bush for somehow causing a "partisan" divide in congress, Kerry declared: "I've never seen such ideological squabbles in the Congress of the United States." Ideological squabbles? A "squabble" is a disagreement over petty, insignificant details. An ideology is an (hopefully) integrated system of ideas about human life, society and politics. There is no greater, more significant disagreement possible between two men than a disagreement over ideas, and only a mind completely devoid of any ideas whatsoever would think to call it a "squabble."

So, while the quality of the final presidential "debate" was embarrassing, at least Americans were left with a clear choice: on one side is a man dumb enough to fight against religious zeal for "Allah" with religious zeal for "God," and on the other side, well...there isn't even a man.

Slug posted by Carter Laren @ 22:38

Thursday, October 07, 2004

A short vocabulary lesson for the press

Over the past few months, several groups of individuals in Iraq have taken to kidnapping, torturing, and beheading innocent civilians, bombing vehicles and buildings at random times in random public locations, and generally intimidating the population in an effort to coerce the U.S. and other governments into meeting their fanatical religious demands.

The definitions below are taken from the Merriam-Webster OnLine dictionary.

rebel (noun): one who rebels
rebel (intransitive verb):
1 a : to oppose or disobey one in authority or control b : to renounce and resist by force the authority of one's government
2 a : to act in or show opposition or disobedience b : to feel or exhibit anger or revulsion

Note that the word "rebel" is reminiscent of Luke Skywalker's resistance against an evil empire, but that it also includes much more mild forms of disobedience like rebelling against "conventions of polite society."

insurgent (noun):
1 : a person who revolts against civil authority or an established government; especially : a rebel not recognized as a belligerent
2 : one who acts contrary to the policies and decisions of one's own political party

Note that "insurgents" do not necessarily spread violence and terror, and that this word should probably be reserved for those who are "not recognized as a belligerent."

terrorist (adjective or noun): [defined via the definition of "terrorism"]
terrorism (noun): the systematic use of terror especially as a means of coercion

Sound familiar?

When characterizing the situation in Iraq, journalists seeking legitimacy might do well to take these definitions into account. (Sorry, Dan, it's already too late for you.)

Slug posted by Carter Laren @ 22:17

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

More spoon-fed slogans for the masses

During tonight's vice presidential debate, Vice President Cheney characterized John Kerry's position on Iraq as "inconsistent." Quick to defend Kerry's rhetoric, Senator Edwards responded with the following assertion:

"The American people saw John Kerry on Thursday night. They don't need the Vice President or the President to tell them what they saw."

Fair enough. Then again, the very next words out of Edwards's mouth were:

"They saw a man who was strong, who had conviction, who is resolute, who made it very clear that he will do everything that has to be done to find terrorists, to keep the American people safe. He laid-out his plan for success in Iraq; made it clear that we were committed to success in Iraq."

Thanks, Mr. Edwards! For a moment there, I was afraid I'd have to use my own judgment.

Slug posted by Carter Laren @ 21:28

Monday, October 04, 2004

Congratulations SpaceShipOne!

Brian Binnie successfully piloted the Scaled Composites/Paul Allen craft SpaceShipOne to an altitude of 368,000 feet this morning, breaking the threshold of space by 40,000 feet. By reaching space (and returning safely) twice within two weeks--all without government handouts--SpaceShipOne earned the coveted $10 Million Ansari X Prize. Last week's flight was piloted by Michael Melvill, who became the first commercial astronaut back in June.

Let this be a reminder to skeptics that there's no such thing as "only" human. Congratulations to the SpaceShipOne team!

Slug posted by Carter Laren @ 20:33